Courage.  It is hard for me to imagine the courage it took for my husband to spend 13 months in a war zone.  Unlike other wars, there was no going back to the rear to rest and recuperate.  They didn't alternate sending people to the front.  There was no rear.   The jungle was the front ...day and night.  There was no rest for his mind as everyone everywhere was the enemy.  There were no uniformed soldiers in a line.  There were children with grenades, grandmothers setting tripwires, and old men ...nobody could be trusted.  So now the bishop cannot be trusted or the neighbors... or coworkers  or family...sometimes....

It is hard for me to imagine his courage but I have in many ways been in a war zone for 45 years.  I never knew when he would explode.  Our family lived on constant high alert.  This morning I read all of the scriptures in the Bible and Book of Mormon about courage.  As I listened to beautiful sabbath music and read in the scriptures a sweet peace came over me.  So many of these courage scriptures had to to do with battle.  The Lord said, " Have courage, I am with you " so many times and in so many words with so many battles.

I know the only way our family made it with living with an exMarine with PTSD and an explosive temper was with the help of the Lord.

I have anxiety and I am sure secondary PTSD.  The spouses of Vietnam Veterans have higher blood pressure than a control group of non PTSD wives. But the Lord has been with me all along.  My courage comes from Him.  There is one who tells me I have no courage that I am worn and beaten.  No!  I do have courage.  The Lord helps me remember all of the courageous things I have had to do in my life.

I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. Phillippians 4:13